Setback

Hi everyone.

Last week, l almost broke down. I just couldn’t handle this…..thing, this condition l have anymore. l spent the better part of the week in the rest room at work just bawling my eyes out. And to think the week started on a positive note…..

I saw my period on the 30th April/ 1st of May and as usual, it was smooth and pain free. Like l mentioned in a previous post, l was gearing up to start using the Ovulation kit l had bought recently. On the 5th, it ended and l thought l would start the test at the weekend, 10th or 11th. My only concern then was when to calculate the 1st day of my period- spotting or full flow. On Sunday the 11th, l started spotting.My mind went blank; it couldn’t comprehend what was happening and put it down to stress. On Monday, the flow increased and on Tuesday, it became a full blown period. Honestly, l almost lost it on Friday. My hubby kept telling me to be strong but at that point, l was tired of staying strong and positive. I couldn’t believe my body could betray me again after responding so well to the supplements. It took me down a long forgotten memory lane……..

Bleeding in between periods is nothing new to me; in 2010, I actually bled for a month, alternating between spotting and heavy flow. Believe me, wearing a sanitary pad for a month is no picnic. I eventually had to go to A n E. As traumatic as that was, it wasn’t my 1st time of bleeding for a month. I would say it has happened over 3 times ,the 1st of which was a couple of years after l started menstrating way before being diagnosed. Back then in Lagos, l was told it was just growing pains and my period would eventually regulate itself (l was placed on the pill for a few months afterwards). Still, l counted myself lucky that it only happened a few times. I was more acquainted with spotting which happened like every other month and so frequently that l simply ignored it and carried on. However, everything has been so normal since l started using the supplements this year…….until now……

It has stopped now but l’m still spotting a bit. I’m just so tired; literally and figuratively . Endometriosis is a horrible chronic, humiliating and debilitating disease. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I believe God knows l can overcome this because He wouldn’t give me a problem l can’t handle but this is one of those days that l’m really struggling to see the silver lining……

Thanks for reading. l just needed to rant and get it off my chest.

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14 Responses to Setback

  1. drnsmusings says:

    Encourage yourself in the Lord. I pray for the storm to end soon. Hugs

  2. ELOHOR says:

    OMG….I am in tears as i read this post. Your blog has been such a support to me and my biggest prayer is for God to answer your prayers. Some days i say a little prayer before opening the blog hoping and praying that you will announce your pregnancy. …and then i can have hope. I was diagnosed some years ago and i know this disease is from the pit of hell. Our trust can only remain in God who makes all things beautiful in his own time.

    • Thanks so much for the support, Elohor. There’s indeed hope in God despite our darkest days. I’ve learned early on that no matter how bad it gets, l must pull myself up and trudge on. I can rant and rave but at the end of the day, He’s still on the throne and hasn’t given up on me so l can’t give up on myself.
      God bless you for your encouragement, Sis. We will definitely overcome by His Grace, Amen

  3. semilore says:

    Hmm, God is your refuge and strength. Many are the afflictions of the righteous,but the Lord God delivereth him from them all. It is well

  4. jcsgrl says:

    Hmnn my dear I totally feel your pain. I feel bad commenting on your blog because I dont suffer from endo but your experience with infertility is close to mine. Similar situation happened to me the two times I wanted to do ivf but in my case my period ceased. My period never ceases. So I thought I was pregnant only to discover I wasn’t. The pain from those two disappointments are still fresh. Even now I’m still dealing with disappointment each month when the period comes. I pray over my womb and declare that it is whole, blood flows through it, it is the optimal temp for conception and it will carry healthy full term pregnancies. Nothing dey happen…God is still in the miracle business

    • Jcgrl, that hope you feel when your period is just ever slightly late….when you feel the tiniest bit of nausea….all to discover a full flow the next day…. is one of the worst feelings in the world for women in our condition. But like you said, God is still a miracle worker and He will do it in His Own Time.
      God bless you, dearest sis. Pls feel free to comment anytime. Your support means a lot.

  5. Caligal says:

    So sorry to hear about this. It is already uncomfortable dealing with the stress and discomfort of a period that last 5 days. I can’t even imagine having to go through this for weeks. God is your strength. This journey we are on isn’t easy at all. I feel your pain and frustration. But, hang in there my sister. Like you said, God is still a miracle worker, and He will do that which only He can do at the appointed time. Remain blessed!

  6. Oma says:

    I apologize in advance for the long post but I wanted to share my entire story.

    I’ve been reading your blog for a while because I too was diagnosed with severe endo via laparoscopy in 2008. I was put on the pill to halt my periods and was told that I could have trouble conceiving. However, I kept believing God would make a way.

    I got married in 2012 and we started trying to conceive right away. Yet nothing was forthcoming. At least a couple of times, my period was late (my period is never late) and I thought I had a few pregnancy symptoms. I cannot explain the devastation each time that I took a pregnancy test and got that big fat negative. Still, something in me would not let me stop believing that I would be a mother some day.

    At watch night service last year, I remember being so angry at God because it seemed that he hadn’t heard all my cries for Him to give me a child. Then I heard someone’s testimony at the service, thanking God for all that He had done. I knew this person so I knew that there was something else she was believing God for. Yet, she remained thankful. At that moment, the Holy Spirit convicted me and I repented.

    This year, I just started thanking God and confessing relevant Scriptures that I had found on a blog I read last year.

    At the same time, hubby and I decided to start seeing a reproductive endocrinologist to determine what the real cause of our inability to conceive was. We did all kinds of tests – HCG, hormone tests, sperm count tests, transvaginal ultrasounds, etc. Hubby’s tests came back normal but mine were a different story. They said my FSH and estrogen levels were too low for a woman my age (30) and said the ultrasound showed that both ovaries were enlarged due to the chocolate cysts on both. The one piece of good news I received was that both of my tubes were open. I thanked God for that.

    The doctor recommended another surgery to laser and drain the cysts. He said I would be unable to conceive on my own without the surgery but he also said the surgery is not guaranteed to help me conceive.

    I was so devastated by this news which I received on Jan 30th but hubby and I decided not to proceed with the surgery. I kept praying and confessing scripture especially Exodus 23:25-26 & Psalm 127:3-5, and speaking life to my womb incessantly. My period was due on Feb 24th. I was also taking my basal body temp at the time since the doc wanted me to track it.

    I noticed during this cycle in Feb. that my temp remained high even after my peak days but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Finally two days after my period was due, I took a pregnancy test and to the glory of God, I got a big fat positive. I could not believe it. I called hubby to read the test and confirm it. We were both so happy. I had conceived on my own without any medical intervention despite the doctor’s diagnosis. And the more amazing thing was that I conceived around Feb. 14, a few weeks after the doctor delivered the bad news.

    I am happy to report that now at 25 weeks pregnant, our boy is doing very well to the glory of God. I hope this testimony encourages someone to know that if Gos can do it for me, He can do it for them. Halleluyah!

    • Wow !!! Amazing!!! Completely humbled by God’s Grace. Thank you so much, Oma for this amazing testimony . If you don’t mind, l would like to turn it into a post because l believe this would definitely speak to a sister out there. It has certainly encouraged me! Hallelujah to the Most High!

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