Adoption-something to ponder over(pt 1)

Hi everyone. Hope your week has been great so far

A lady approached me some weeks ago in church. She had been praying and had found some money(6 pence to be precise) on the floor which she placed beside me as she walked past. She came back minutes later saying that God had just ministered to her regarding the money ; that the 6 pence though might seem small, would be like a first fruit to a bigger blessing in my life. She then asked if there was anything l was waiting on God for . After telling her, it turned out that she had a similar issue years back and she had actually started an adoption process before she became pregnant. She held my hand and prayed for me. At that moment, l knew God had not forgotten me. This lady is in her late 50s and is expecting her grandchild any minute.She encouraged me not to give up because she was in my shoes and knows how hard it can be. She gave me her own survival tip; pray that God should direct me to my own child, whether it’s from me or someone else. She also said she wouldn’t want to give me false hope as God didn’t show her when my blessing would arrive or even if it is what l really want so badly. However, the fact remains that God hasn’t forgotten me and He sent someone who had been in my shoes to deliver the message.

Coming from an African background and being a Nigerian to be precise, adoption is not looked upon favourably in my culture. This is ironic because the many Nigerian families l grew up with had several extended family members living in their households. A good example is yours truly. I grew up with about 4 cousins along with my siblings! We shared everything together and  my parents raised them with the same privileges and advantages that they gave us. However, one could argue that we are still related by blood which differs from adoption. Most Nigerians are not welcome to the idea of taking in a child that is not related by blood or biologically their’s. It’s like a social stigma that is associated with infertility. Personally, l would love to pass on my own genes and have my own child. I’ve often been told that l’m the spitting image of my mother and that is why l’m the apple of my Dad’s eye. My mum, siblings and even my husband believe this is true and even though we do fight sometimes, l have always felt close to my Dad and l can tell him anything. Would l feel the same if l was not biologically his or vice versa? What if l adopt and l get pregnant with my own child; would l treat my adopted child differently?  If my adopted child turns out to be a handful, would l have the same patience and love to deal with him/her as l would towards my biological children? Would my parents and my inlaws treat our adopted children differently to the way they treat their biological grandchildren? What if after growing up, our adopted children decide to find their biological parents? Would l be considered a “real mother”? After all, l didn’t carry the child in my womb for 9 months and go through hours of labour to give birth. These questions and more are worth pondering over. However, what does God say about adoption?

More on adoption later. Thanks for reading.

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9 Responses to Adoption-something to ponder over(pt 1)

  1. jcsgrl says:

    Omg I responded to your post yesterday on considering adoption but it seems it didn’t go through. Oh well, but yeah I’m considering same next year whether biological children come or not, im still going to adopt. A friend just recently completed a two year intl adoption process and now has a 3yr old son after 10 yrs of marriage. So I want to start asap in case the process is long. Just smth to think about

    • Really, l guess the post didn’t come through
      Wow . Great minds think alike and all that. Congrats on your friend’s successful process. So happy you have made a decision. My hubby and l are not there yet. Next year will be awesome, l can tell. Wishing you all the best , sis and keep me posted.

      PS- I still want to hear your story. I know it’s not endo but that doesn’t make it less painful or traumatic. Pls do tell and encourage all sisters out there going through the same thing. My email addy is Stay blessed.

      • jcsgrl says:

        Aww…ok now I have to start remembering everything I’ve tried to forget these past 5 years…will see if I can go there again to write it down lol

  2. Meg says:

    Mine isn’t really bad or extreme,I’m not married either,was diagnosed 10months ago and I’m considering trying for a baby next year,with or without marriage ,I will be 29 next year,thpugh nlotinng eventful happens except slight pain during my period..with the little I go through I can just imagine what other women bear ..God bless u and strenghten us all.

    • Thanks for commenting, sis
      I pray God will guide you in your decision . If you don’t mind my asking, what prompted you to have a diagnosis because you mentioned you don’t really have any symptoms?
      Stay blessed

  3. Lade says:

    I am a nigerian, though I live outside the country. We also had fertility issues 11+ yrs, though it was a male factor problem. Went thru several rounds of IVF etc but did not conceive . I finally got tired of being poked, prodded and all sorts of indignities that I am sure u r all too familiar with, and turned to adoption. After 2 years if being in the process coz of all sorts of paperwork and laws, we adopted a baby girl last year who has been a tremendous blessing & a source of joy. Much to our amazement, the news was very well received by both family & friends. We were tremendously blessed with so much gifts. I swear I did not buy diapers or wipes for months. Unbelievably, our child looks o much like my husband that I did not tell u she was adopted u will never know. I tell u the love u receive from d child or u find ur self giving to d child is not diff from if d child were ur biological child. All I can say is that God circumvented the normal procedure to bless us and sincerely my sorrow has been wiped away. I look at her daily and bless God for d awesome gift. Our life has changed but we r stronger and happier.
    PS: there would be that odd person who will piss u off but your joy will overshadow all their dissenting voices when u hold ur child in ur arms or ur child turns and cries for u and wants you and no one else

    • This is so inspiring! Thanks so much for sharing this story. I know of a couple that adopted a child recently too after many years of fertility issues as well and now, they are so content, happy and blessed.
      May God’s Blessings and Grace never cease in your home, Lade. You are so right; the joy of having a child that calls you mum far outweighs any dissenting voices. God bless you.

  4. drnsmusings says:

    I have a cousin who adopted a girl 9 years ago when it was yet to be accepted. The child now looks like her. We struggle to rem she was adopted. It’s an option you should not close your heart to. Tho u will not have the pregnancy period to bond, u will have the 1st 1 year. Nursing also promotes bonding o. And I know a lady who breastfed her adopted child and subsequently had hers. Loves both equally. Prayerfully make a decision. I await ur miracle.

    • Yes, this year we are considering a lot of options and praying on them. God will surely show us the way and there will be an amazing testimony by His Grace, Amen. Thanks so much, Sis. Stay blessed.

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