Low Libido

Hi everyone. Hope you all had a good weekend

Low libido is a very sensitive issue for women with endometriosis and for a Nigerian woman like myself, embarrassing to talk about. This could be because as a married woman, you are not meant to talk about your marriage to outsiders talkless of your sexual problems. Simply put,  low libido is low sex drive. Between chronic pain, painful sex, taking medication and hormonal therapies, undergoing surgery and dealing with a variety of emotional issues, it is not surprising that sexual desire is affected.

Like l mentioned in an earlier post, l was diagnosed 2 months into my marriage. Naturally, any sexual intimacy took a back seat. I couldn’t even bear to be touched and this would be hard for any man especially a newly married one.  Anytime l had any respite from the pain, l just wanted to be left alone in peace. My body felt as if it had been in a boxing ring so any pain free time was pure bliss and l guarded it fiercely because the pain could return at any moment and it was back to the boxing ring. The act itself didn’t make it any easier. Dyspareunia also known as painful sex, is common when endometriosis affects the tissue behind the uterus at the top of the vagina. Frankly, with the level of pain and stress l was going through, l wouldn’t have cared if l never had sexual intimacy with my husband for the rest of my life. I didn’t think of the effect it had on him; l expected him to understand. Afterall, l was the one going through the pain and operations. I failed to realise he is only human too and it was grossly unfair not to take his feelings into consideration. For a while, it affected our marriage until we eventually sought counselling in church.

Now with acupuncture and counselling, things are looking up in that department. I would like to advice every endo sufferer out there who might be going though the same issue to seek help. Don’t suffer in silence. This is one of the reasons l started this blog. It has been almost 8 years since l was diagnosed and l’m yet to know of any Nigerian or African women with this disease until l started this blog( apart from Nike Oshinowo). My mother, aunties, cousins, friends, colleagues, acquaintances etc are all unaware of this terrible disease. Most of them just assumed l have fibroids and these are well educated women. While l am in no way trivialising fibroids( my heart goes out to the women who are battling this condition), there’s more awareness of this in Africa yet little or nothing about endo. My African sisters, please seek help. You have nothing to be ashamed of

Thanks for reading

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25 Responses to Low Libido

  1. *sigh* I didn’t know what endo is till recently. Am still a young girl but pls can we go for test? Am scared

  2. *sigh* I just found out what endo is recently. Can young girls like me go for test? The though of not enjoying sex is scary

    • Thanks for commenting, sis but could you elaborate? Have you just been diagnosed? If not and you think you have the condition, pls visit a gynaecologist and they will carry out some tests to put your mind at ease.Hope this helps.

  3. Nafteta says:

    I am an endo patient. I am a Nigerian. I shall share my story with you soon.

  4. Chinenye says:

    Thank u for starting this blog. I’m an endo sufferer too. Married 4 4yrs & trying to conceive. I can tell u that this disease Is the worst thing that can ever happen to anybody. I’m in pains as iim writing this. my period is suppose to start today but its not flowing as it should be thereby causing me unbearable pains. I ve cried my eyes out today. I curse endometriosis.

    • @Chinenye, l completely feel your pain. The period days are the worst. Have you tried any alternative therapy? After years of operations and hormone treatments, l can only tell you what is currently working for me- Acupuncture. I’m also on my period as l type and the pain is much more reduced.

      • Chinenye says:

        Yes I ve tried so many drugs & have had one surgery, still no improvement. I’m tired of the whole thing. I once tried evening primrose, it seems to reduce the pains but it shrinked my breast so bad that they almost dissappeared, so I stopped it. There’s a local herb that one woman prepares for me, it works very well too but I couldn’t get hold of it where I am now. I still wonder if I will ever be able to carry a baby after series of miscarriages. God is our strength

      • Yes, He is. It can be so frustrating when there seems to be no end in sight but we can NEVER give up hope. We have to keep trying to find a way to alleviate the pain and by His Grace, conceive. Try another herbal medicine. I tried Agnus Castus a few times from Holland & Barrett( you can order from Amazon) and it relieved me for a while with no noticeable side effects.
        Be strong, my sister. We shall overcome.

  5. OmoMakun says:

    Just came accross your blog. I pray that God almighty will bless you with your very own children in Jesus name. I firmly believe that nothing is impossible for God to do. The God I serve is bigger than this disease and according to his word, he says “None shall be barren in the land” and God will always honor is word above his name. Please hold on my sisters, I can’t even imagine what you are going through, but I know that God will always give you a reason to smile!

  6. Jeff says:

    The first time I heard about this issue, was through Nike Oshinowo’s story. I respect her goodwill and yours to help create more awareness on this. I am trying to share a story on your blog, but I can’t figure out how to do it. The way to go about sharing stories here is not very intutive, I have to go an extra length to see comments or even add this comment. I will suggest this is worked on. I am an IT person though not a social media expert, and I know one secret to a great blog is intuition

  7. Gretel says:

    Oh dear! I can’t imagine what you go through. But just know that this doesn’t change who God created in you. You’re his image and besides that,you are the real hero. Plenty hugsss.

  8. Pingback: A New Blog on Endometriosis Discuss Low Libido as a Challenge For Women Diagnosed With Endometriosis | What Nigerians are Talking About Now

  9. Reading this just made me so emotional..**teary**
    We have alot to be grateful for. Things some of us take for granted.
    For instance, a friend mentioned having “miscarriage is normal” there is nothing normal about anything that causes pain, causes low self esteem and all the negative things.
    So when people accept that certain things are normal its quite worrying.
    Here I am reading your blog and thinking you are so strong to go through this and still remain positive and cheerful.

    I respect your husband, he is indeed a Man. I pray God will continue to strengthen him to be there for you. I pray that your joy will run over. Life can be so unfair but God says there is nothing impossible for him. So I join my faith with yours that all that you desire this season God will do it exceedingly and abundantly. x Just like he did for people before you and will do after you, He has no choice but to honour your faith. He did it for Sarah and did it for my Mum who was told couldn’t have children. I rejoice with you in advance. xxxx

    • Thanks so much for that prayer, sis. I have to admit though that l can’t take the credit. It’s all down to God; without Him, l wouldn’t have made it this far. He’s indeed a faithful God. By His Grace, next year will be a year of great testimonies for us all, Amen.
      Stay blessed!

  10. Tolu says:

    I dont know how to send this to you, so i am posting here.
    God will ease your pain and answer your prayers. I have stage 4 Endo, scar tissue everywhere. Ovaries stuck to intestines. I don’t need to describe the pain cos you know.
    I used to say Endo ruined my life, couldn’t practice my profession, had to become a housewife. Some people don’t talk to me anymore cos I missed their parties. If only they knew the kind of pain I deal with 3 weeks in a month.
    I had 2 surgeries, was told by a surgeon I have a 1% chance of getting pregnant and he won’t do anymore surgeries on me. I was sent to the best surgeon in the state who did my last surgery and told me I could get pregnant.
    I also had pneumothorax (collapsed lung) twice due to Endo. With prayers and treatments I am expecting twins after five years of marriage and tears.
    My hubby and I cried reading your posts, its like we wrote ur blog.
    Your prayers will be answered and you will carry your children. Amen

    • Hallelujah!!! Such amazing and wonderful news. What a glorious way to start the New Year! Congrats to you and your hubby.
      If you don’t mind, l’ll like to post this on the blog to inspire other endo sisters out there and remind them that God is forever faithful. This is indeed our year of victory. Congrats once again. Here’s wishing you a very safe delivery.

      • Tolu says:

        Thank you very much. We will rejoice with you soon. During my trials, my mum met several ladies who had Endo and now have kids after battling with infertility. She told me never to give up hope and to believe it will happen and it did.
        I have no problem with you posting my story, hopefully it lets someone out there know that Endo is not a life sentence. I used to think that.
        Happy victorious new year to you!

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