I remember that day when my husband intervened back in early 2009. I realised then that he was suffering too and l wasn’t the only one with the problem. I took a good look in the mirror; l looked bloated all over. My graduation picture from Uni had just arrived( yes, l finally graduated after deferring for so long) and at first glance, l thought they sent me the wrong picture. I looked at least 5 months pregnant( ironic, l know) and completely different from the mental image l have of myself. It was as if l was wearing a fat suit. Finally, it clicked; l had an epiphany. I had allowed this disease to control my emotions and completely rule my life. I wasn’t really living, merely surviving and using food as a crutch. I signed up with a local weight loss support program and lost 4 kg in the first week. Meanwhile, my specialist decided after all to drain the cyst through keyhole surgery again as it had grown to 11 centimetres since December. He was worried about the alarming rate of the cyst’s growth so once again, l prepared for my third operation.
I was given the option to remove my blocked fallopian tube but l refused to even consider it and my husband supported my decision. I just felt it would be too final and l needed to consider all my options. My operation came and went with some good and bad news. Good news was that l weighed 100kg on the day of the operation( l had lost 9kg-1stone and 5pounds); bad news was my operation was very difficult. Although the cyst was successfully drained, the endometriosis had spread to all my organs and they were a gigantic sticky mess. It was so severe that the doctors immediately ruled out any future operation. Unlike before though, l didn’t get depressed. I focused on my weight loss. As the pounds fell off, l felt more confident and determined not to fall off the wagon. l also did some research in nutrition and diet. I cut out refined foods like white bread( my weakness!), pasta, sugar, junk food, cakes cookies etc. Red meat and diary products also went out the window. I ate more veg, fruits , fish and chicken. l also started exercising using a stepper and going on long walks with my hubby who was only too happy to oblige.
It was hard , boy was it hard. There were days when l felt like giving up especially when the pain was bad ( yes, a routine scan showed yet ANOTHER cyst growing on my LEFT ovary just barely 4 months after the operation) but my husband’s encouragement( he was fantastic) ,my mirror and new size 14 clothes kept me motivated.
I keep my graduation picture by my bedside now. I still don’t recognise the person in the fat suit but l’m reminded daily of how denial is not the solution to a problem. I have lost over 5 stone to date. Thanks for reading, everyone.